As a kid, I was very shy. To be honest, I wasn’t a very confident child in dealing with my share of ado’s. My parents never really acknowledged this as a problem, till it became mountainous and started becoming a barrier to my dreams. I was a hard-worker, dreamer but loser at expression. My goals were set by my parents and it was only my parents who were achieving them, not me. But then, my teacher once called up my folks for a meet to discuss my suddenly dipping scores. The day came and I was almost having a panic attack. I was waiting outside my classroom and my parents came out with a smile, masking the inner pain.
Next day, I was told that I don’t need to go to school, rather they would prefer home-schooling me. I was relived. Jacob used to teach me all subjects and made sure that I deliver and express as if, nobody was judging. He taught me how to enjoy studying, and not just worrying about how to score. He taught me how to remain genuine and set achievable goals. He infused me with confidence and changed my weaknesses to strengths. His benign efforts not just motivated me in every aspect of life but taught me the biggest lesson of how to stay self-motivated. Yes, self-motivation is the key to attain goals without being reminded to do so. I realized that I was a self-learner and self-motivated kid. I enjoyed exploring and doing things my own way, even realized that parental involvement only made me anxious. But, I got over this issue, very successfully through mindful coaching.
Now that I am a parent today, I can relate to your concern. If you think of motivating your child in the form of only rewards and punishment for all the rights and wrong, then you need to reconsider about mastering the art of motivating kids. There can be numerous other ways through which the child can be motivated.
We as parents like to shower our kids with too many rewards and gifts. It’s advisable to go easy on extra splurging, since this will make them too dependent, or in the worst case, addicted of material comforts. It goes the same way for punishments. In fact, every parent must understand that a stable involvement of the child requires developing genuine self-driven motivation. As a parent we need to maintain a balance and empower the kid by being reasonable in both the scenarios.
Have your child set goals, rather than you do it for them. Help them make a list of both short and long-term goals and ensure that goals are not unachievable. Assisting them in reaching them will not only empower but will also inculcate in them a sense of responsibility. We can personalize the tasks by joining their league and just act regulators. Let them figure out the best and practical way to reach.
From my personal experience, I can assure you the wonders done by printable charts. It is not only a fun and colorful way to represent but also a good tool to teach your child to be organized. Little Achievements Matter: Let your child know that you are happy with their little achievements. Show them that even, if the main goal is taking time, their efforts are making them proud. Have a hearty dialogue or narrate a relevant story/ autobiographical incidents encouraging them to keep on working towards their major goal. Re-setting the expectations and valuing what is important at the end of the day.
To make our kids ready for the world, we need to encourage healthy competition. It will help your child learn the art of tolerance for others, enhancing strengths and overcoming weaknesses. Constructive competition academic/non-academic will make them world ready. Make them explorers Kids enjoy being empowered; they love exploring, and the best way to learn in the most motivating way is learning by doing. They must be given ample encouragement to become leaders.
Kids enjoy learning from their parents/guardians’ experience. They understand better, and it also inspires them to reach their dreams and make their parents proud. World is changed by examples not opinions: Parents need to understand that the world is changed by examples, and not just by the opinions. They need to become inspiring role models for their kids to accomplish their goals. Personal motivation always works like a wonder. Your excitement and positive energy towards any task will foster not just good relationships, but also replicate the same in them
Art of Being Consistent:
Art of consistency not only makes the child love their craft, but makes them mentally sound beings. It keeps their mental health stable and gives rise to stable working. It breeds consistent motivation required for steady success in life.
Give them Suggestive Choices:
A guided choice can go a long way. Give them power of choosing, it is highly motivating and empowering for a kid to make choice. It boosts ego and make them better leaders. Also, giving them suggestive choice will also help.
Embrace the Weakness:
Teaching kids how to embrace weakness is the key to make them feel powerful about their own self. It is highly motivating to make the kids understand the value of having flaws and making them love and embrace it. It will boost their self-esteem.
In the end, I would like to re-iterate how you can channelize the inner growth of a young mind with the power of motivation. A simple step-by-step approach in making the child reach their full potential is impertinent to this process. Let there be freedom of choice, encouragement of individuality, joy of being, coming alive with the integration of a healthy and open communication always, which rather is the key.