Hope you’re doing well!
I have come up to talk about something which most of the parents face i.e violent behavior of their child
“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness, but direct them to it by what amuses their minds”
Research indicates that aggression and violence in children appear to be a developmental trait that begins early in life and often continues into adolescence and adulthood, if not managed at the right time.
Look for the warning signs such as intimidating, hitting peers, yelling, isolating oneself etc. It is not always possible to predict behavior that will lead to violence.
In some situations & for some children, different combination of events, behavior and emotion may lead to aggressive rage or violent behavior towards self or others. Well!! you do need to understand, there needs to be an intervention if a child is consistently engaged in some type of violent act.
Also, you need to understand the ideology, that where this aggression is coming from?
Children learn this type of behavior from their environment so whether it’s their home or the community they live into, it’s something that needs to be addressed. It is very important for you to help them calm down, nurture them.
So, how can you help your child to get out of the situation?
You have to try different techniques, depending upon your communication with your child or the temperament of your child. Usually, you need to hold them tight, talk to them in a very smooth and nice voice, you have to tell them “Okay I understand how you feel, it must be really bad for you”
6 Simple techniques to control Violent Behavior
Child’s aggression or violence is a form of communication of deep desires and therefore understanding the underlying factors can help in correcting this behavior.
1. Don’t set a bad example:
Name calling, hateful words and of course physical aggression by parents directly influences the child. It is, therefore, essential that parents must maintain their calm and never lose their emotional control.
2. Limit TV programs:
Children do model aggressive or violent behavior from TV, movies, and games. If your child has a problem with aggressive behavior, you should definitely limit his viewing of this type of programs.
Also, you need to keep a check on what programs your child sees, it’s not that every program has violent content, but you need to keep an eye on those programs that serve violence in society.
3. Be consistent with your discipline:
Use the TIMEOUT techniques – Giving your child a few minutes to cool off, say something like “I want you to think about what you did, how would you feel if your friend did the same to you?” If you allow your child some time to cool off, after a streak of violent behavior, then he should be sent to timeout every time he hits otherwise, he will not know where his boundary lies.
4. Provide Physical Outlets:
Channelizing your child’s high-spirited energies is the best way to counter the violent behavior. Encourage outdoor games and activities of their interest.
For instance: Biking or Swimming will be beneficial due to the perfect balance of mental concentration along with physical exertion that they require.
Also, enrolling your child into Martial Arts class will be of great help because they can channelize their immense energy, there they get dummy’s to punch on and learn various forms as well. Make sure that your child uses these tricks in a positive way. This could burn off their huge energies and prove to be blessing in disguise.
5. Go for Pattern Interruption:
Pattern interruption is a technique to change a particular thought, behavior or situation. For example, you need to do something which is so surprising, so unexpected for your child that they change their state from being violent to being anxious or being surprised. From there you can change it to the state you want them to lead.
6. Reward good behavior:
Parents usually recognize the misbehavior of their child and they fail to notice the glimpses of the good behavior they show at times.
Appreciate them whenever you notice some kind of improvement in their behavior, reward them with various gifts of their choice like games and cook their favorite dishes. You also need to be little moderate with them like, praising them by saying “Very good !! Bravo !! I am so proud of you my child !!”, because praising them can never backfire whereas gifts and stuff will. Sometimes children pretend to be good just for rewards and the real behavior remains the same.
“Before you criticize your child, just remember who raised them”
I hope these simple techniques will help you out!!!